Separation & Divorce
When we enter into a serious romantic relationship or marriage, most of us want it to last a lifetime.
All relationships will have their difficulties over the years and hopefully we are able to work them out between ourselves.
Sadly, 42% of marriages end in divorce, half of which are within the first 10 years of marriage. Same sex female couples are approximately 2.5 times more likely to divorce than male couples.
When a relationship or marriage breaks down or comes to an end, it can evoke many difficult feelings. When children are involved the process can be much more difficult as you pick your way through coping on your own and trying to co-parent from a distance whilst dealing with the feelings of the separation or divorce.
Divorce is often a blame game
Throughout the UK, you have to have been apart for at least two years in order to have a "no fault" divorce. Otherwise, in order to get a divorce, one of you has to attribute blame to the other in order to show that your marriage has irretrievably broken down by citing either "unreasonable behaviour" or "adultery".
As marriages and relationships break up they are often emotionally charged with feelings of anger, resentment, contempt, animosity and bitterness. Sadly, it is often the children who are the casualties when their parents split up.
How can I help?
I can either help by offering you 1:1 therapy at this difficult time, to help you to cope with the break up of your relationship and all the feelings that are evoked or I can offer couple counselling.
I can help you if you want to come as a couple if either one of you or both of you feel that the relationship is irrevocably damaged and has come to an end. Even though you may want to leave the relationship, may need help to find the courage to do so especially if you are feeling fearful and guilty about the hurt that it will cause yourself and others.
When a family unit breaks down, it can be especially difficult for any children that are involved. The damage to children can be minimised, if they are enabled to have healthy and loving relationships with both of their parents after the breakup. Children will also benefit so much more if their parents can salvage a lasting civil and respectful relationship too as they co-parent into the future.
I can help you during this difficult process of breaking up to maintain effective communication with each other, to understand the grieving process that is involved, so that both parties can work towards an amicable split.
I am an accredited and registered Counsellor & Psychotherapist with the BACP with over 14 years experience of working with individuals, couples and therapeutic groups in a variety of settings.
Counselling is always at the heart of what I do, but by incorporating other treatments and techniques I can offer my own unique combination of therapies to effectively help clients to feel better on all levels.
Tina Deas
A Time For You, Counselling & Reiki Swindon