Relationship Problems
The definition of a relationship is “a connectedness between two People.” Human beings are social animals and we need to form close bonds and relationships with other people during our lives
We may experience a variety of complicated personal relationships with family, friends, work colleagues and of course, romantic ones.
Relationships are as individual and different as the people who are part of them. For relationships to be successful they require clear expectations, time, energy and good communication.
When our expectations are not met, we can feel let down, neglected used or betrayed. Poor communication will often lead to the relationship, breaking down, end completely or becoming unhealthy or toxic.
Relationships can be a minefield!
For some people relationships can be a minefield. Even getting to grips with the different kinds of relationships we can have and their boundaries can feel very challenging.
As well as romantic, sexual relationships, other relationship fulfil our human needs to be around other people who we feel are similar to us and with whom we feel valued, secure and appreciated for who we are.
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Some relationships are casual "acquaintances" and include people you might see around and smile at or say "hello" to. Acquaintances help you to feel connected to the outside world, but they're generally people you wouldn’t text or call to meet up. The only expectation you have of casual acquaintances is politeness.
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Other relationships are friendships. There is a casual friend, who you may have met by chance (for instance, because you work in the same area or share a class at the gym) and you may interact on a more regular basis based on your shared interest or common schedule. You may chat with these people about surface-level topics, but you probably don't know much about them as individuals.
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More intimate friends are the people you trust and choose to be with when you have a choice. These are the people that you get to know and feel that you can be yourself around without worrying about impressing them. Intimate friendships can require a lot of work to maintain, because you owe each other attention and time as part of your friendship.
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Best friends are those intimate friends who have proven to be faithful, loyal, and trustworthy; these are often relationships that have stood the test of time. Best friends feel as if they know each other inside out. Not everybody has or needs best friends.
How can I help you?
Whatever relationship you need help with, whether its family, friends or partners, I can offer you a safe space to explore your feelings around your experience and your feelings. Alternatively, you may need some help to come to terms with the loss of a relationship or you may want to try to salvage or repair a damaged one.
Most relationships can be benefited by improving communication. Unfortunately, most of us don't learn how to communicate effectively as we grow up. We can therefore find it difficult to have the important conversations that are needed or are unable to assert our feelings. I can help you to learn how to begin to communicate effectively.
As well as individual 1:1 therapy, I can see both parties who are in the relationship providing you are both willing to come along to work things out or to work towards a close.
If you find yourself trapped in a similar pattern of unhelpful or failing relationships, together we can look at what might be happening and understand why that might be. Unfortunately, we all bring our unconscious expectations into our relationships which we formulate from our past experiences. If we have struggled with our early relationships we might find that we are choosing friends or partners who seem to replay the same old feelings of hurt and let down. This kind of insight can not only help you in your current relationships but help you in future relationships so that you do not repeat contributory patterns of behaviour.
I am an accredited and registered Counsellor & Psychotherapist with the BACP with over 14 years experience of working with individuals, couples and therapeutic groups in a variety of settings.
Counselling is always at the heart of what I do, but by incorporating other treatments and techniques I can offer my own unique combination of therapies to effectively help clients to feel better on all levels.
Tina Deas
A Time For You, Counselling & Reiki Swindon